i feel tired, i feel weary... i feel like an eternity passed me by while i stood nailed to the ground. Ive become a shadow, a morsel of meat to be fed to a pack of wolves. I wake up wondering what lies ahead, while glancing behind to see oblivion creeping up to me.

Its funny really... I should be sulking in a corner,  should i? shouldn't i? when i look at it from the outside, it seems so out of place, it seems so distant, is this what shouldve happened? course not, and yet its here, right before my eyes, staring me in the face.

I keep myself in check, to the point of detachment, just keep saying... just do what needs to be done, and it'll all work fine... do what needs to be done...

and then...

as i close my eyes each night.... you know.. maybe it was a bad dream. but i wake up... sweaty... bothered...still tired... still weary...

but in way it was a little comforting... when i close my eyes, i see nothing. my soul calms down. everything becomes a little less painful, a little more bearable.

all this from sleep.... all this from closing my eyes... all this from closing my windows to the world outside....